ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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