I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
