there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
