i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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