Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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