so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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