dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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