so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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