Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
