is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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