Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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