Swine flu. Run for my life!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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