Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
