Having a random hookup so left but love u
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
