I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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