Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
