You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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