DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
