He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
