you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
