btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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