A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
