hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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