We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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