Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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