There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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