Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
