I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
