I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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