dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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