i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
