the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize