I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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