in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
