Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
