I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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