I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
