just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
