Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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