Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
