he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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