I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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