Since when is my name a synonym for head?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
