So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
