I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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