You made me cry and you don't even care
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
