Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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