I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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