why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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