Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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