HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
