I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
