someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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