ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
