I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
