He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
