I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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