I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i drank out of a bidet.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He did a backflip because drugs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
