what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize