P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
