Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She is in my trunk
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
