i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
