Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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