After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
God, I missed his penis.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
