I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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