I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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