That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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